It
certainly feels like male-bashing season. Every other day there’s a new
blog post, or article, or snide tweet admonishing women not to date
this type of guy or why that type of guy is wrong for them. The way
these women carry on, one would think all men were either a cold or
calculating sociopath who only wants to jump into bed with every woman;
or beer guzzling, unambitious zombies, devoted only to watching
football.
But you see, that is not the case. Women happen to have more baggage than men and men have the gift of spotting baggage-carriers from afar off, as well as the skill to avoid them.
But you see, that is not the case. Women happen to have more baggage than men and men have the gift of spotting baggage-carriers from afar off, as well as the skill to avoid them.
Well, most men… If you’re one of the hapless souls who do not, here are the 8 types of women that no young Nigerian man should date. At all.
1. The Barbie.
The
only thing Barbie has, is her pretty face. Finish. She’s the type of
woman that doesn’t know much about anything. Hell, she doesn’t care much
about anything! As long as her pretty face is intact, the world can burn for all she cares.
2. The Drama Queen.
2. The Drama Queen.
Avoid this person like a plague, even as a friend. She has no qualms about creating a scene over a perceived sin. She would bawl her eyes out loudly in public if she feels you don’t love her; or love her enough.She cries, she’s passionate and yes, she looooves the attention.
3. The Possessive/Obsessive Clinger.
3. The Possessive/Obsessive Clinger.
Similar
to Miss DQ above, but she doesn’t have the need to cause drama; she has
a need for YOU. At all times. She calls thrice an hour. Her first
question always is ‘Where are you?’ If you don’t pick up because you’re
getting chewed up by your boss, expect the multi-page accusatory text
messages to start flooding in. She gets upset when you have the
barest interaction with another woman. She wants to be the only presence
in your life. Before she goes the way of Cameron Diaz’s character in
‘Vanilla Sky’, quickly give her the boot.
4. The Wife.
4. The Wife.
She is not interested in dating. She doesn’t want a boyfriend: she wants a husband. She wants to marry. Now! One date and she’s ready to meet your parents. Two weeks on and she has chosen the names of the children you will have together. Nobody
said women were logical creatures but then, life – as well as love – is
in stages. I’m not sure I like you yet and you’re already choosing aso ebi… slow down madam.
5. The Party Animal.
There’s
nothing wrong with letting your hair down and having fun occasionally.
When it now becomes a way of life, nne, we have a problem. Sometimes one
needs to chill and enjoy the other person’s company. Not this lady. She knows all the happening places in Lagos. And Abuja. And London. Her friends are going. And she must be there too. The party animal will be bored with you in no time.
6. The Cheat.
6. The Cheat.
Seriously,
do I need to explain this? There is no way in the world to have a
meaningful relationship with someone who’s cheating on her boyfriend
with you. Even if she gets out of that relationship and starts a new one
with you, you know that she has no qualms about infidelity. She’s going to cheat on you too. Period.
7. Nairabody.
7. Nairabody.
“I
ain’t saying she’s a gold digger, but she aint messing with no broke
n…” This is the type of woman who craves the finer things in life and
expects a man to provide them. She’s with you only for the money. She
might actually ‘like’ you, but if you can’t buy her things and
generally assume responsibility as her personal cash dispenser, forget
it; you can’t get five minutes of her time. She’s a pro at using sex as a
tool: you get it when you pay. The moment she finds a more affluent
man (that is if she doesn’t have a bunch of you suckers around her
pinky already), she’s going to kick your broke behind to the curb.
Expecting a steady stable relationship from Nairabody is futile. There
are better ways to waste time and money.
8. Your neighbour’s teenage daughter.
Forget how she looks in a tank top. There’s a law against that type of thing.
8. Your neighbour’s teenage daughter.
This is dummy text. It is not meant to be read. Accordingly, it is difficult to figure out when to end it. But then, this is dummy text. It is not meant to be read. Period.
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