1. We’re better listeners.
Which is why we can talk to our friends on the phone for hours about
everything from foreign policy to Rihanna, and guys don’t really talk to
each other about jack shit.
2. We can multi-task. Hello, texting, putting makeup on and looking up directions and being happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time.
3. We are better at parking. Yeahh, that whole “women are bad drivers because Tampon Brain” stereotype? Mythbusted. Even insurance companies know it. Sorry, unoriginal stand-up comedians.
4. And we’re more likely to negotiate a good deal on car repairs.
5. We also save money on everything else. Oh, the power of flirting.
6. Unlike their male counterparts, female leaders check their egos at the door. As U.S. Senator Barbara Boxer said, “Women do have a more inclusive way of leading. We try to bring more people along with us.”
7. Our sex lives stay hot well into our suburbs-and-SUV years. We’re all Mrs. Robinson.
8. And our sexuality is more fluid. Particularly as we age. A Boise University study found that 60 percent of heterosexual women have been sexually attracted to other women, which allows us a much greater chance at finding a partner who won’t annoy the shit out of us, thank you very much.
9. We’re better at giving gifts. Because we are tasteful and thoughtful and know when a necklace is hideous even if it's expensive.
10. Women who drink a glass of wine a week make healthier life choices overall. Amazing.
11. We're better at expressing ourselves via text. Seriously, give any random woman on the street an iPhone and tell her to text her BFF, and she basically becomes Arthur Miller.
12. We make better doctors. No matter what the constant catfighting on Grey’s Anatomy might suggest to you, female doctors are basically Cristina Yang sans emotional dysfunction.
13. We’re more emotionally intelligent. In other words, we've never tried to have sex with someone who was crying, unlike a certain gender.
14. We care more about the environment. Women are far more likely to recycle on the regs than men are.
15. Women with big butts are smarter and healthier. Holla.
16. Girls do better in school.
17. And women do better in college.
18. We don’t have to feel weird in yoga. I see you, one guy in all-female class who may or may not be there to look up girls’ buttholes. Stop it.
19. We handle job interview stress more gracefully. With one glass of wine! Just kidding. Kinda.
20. We’re attracted to funny guys without being threatened. Get over yourselves, men.
21. We manage debt better. You + Sallie Mae = BFF. (Okay, maybe not, but still, you're better off.)
22. Michelle Obama is a woman. Which is pretty much like having Vin Diesel on our dodgeball team.
23. We have a much wider and more diverse range of shoe options. If my only two choices were Converse, flip-flips, and dress shoes, I would die of boredom.
24. We can change our hair and look completely different whenever we want. And we don’t look like seven-year-olds right after a haircut.
25. Our bodies are nicer. I mean, penises are functional, but they're no prize visually.
26. We don't look like a bag of fruit when we work out in Spandex.
27. We can enjoy wonderful things like interpretive dance and baby animals and Beyoncé without judgment.
28. We're better Army helicopter pilots.
29. We can improve our appearance via makeup. Which is totally subjective, and could mean anything from "We can even out our skin tone" to "We can wear crazy blue lipstick and look like a badass" if we want to.
30. We have the ability to create life. You know, NBD.
This is dummy text. It is not meant to be read. Accordingly, it is difficult to figure out when to end it. But then, this is dummy text. It is not meant to be read. Period.
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