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America may be known as the land
of the free, but it has more laws than you'd expect governing what you
can and can't do in the sack—not that you'd attempt most of those things
anyway. Although these regulations are so outdated they’re hardly
enforced, they still remain on the books. For instance, many states
(including Montana, Kansas, Utah, Louisiana, North Carolina and Texas)
still have anti-sodomy rules, but bet you can't guess what device is
banned from going off at the same time as a woman climaxes in
Connorsville, WI! Read on for the answer, plus 11 more of the wackiest
sex laws ever made.
1. No Unprotected Sex with Satan
If you happen to be in Bakersfield, CA, in the South
Central section of the state, and the man you're about to seal the deal
with is so devilishly handsome he just may be Lucifer, himself, make
sure you have protection. Bakersfield law requires that you use a condom
if you do the deed with Satan.
2. No Fornicating in Walk-in Meat Freezers
Apparently, food shopping—or working in a
market—really sets the mood in Newcastle, WY, a small town by the South
Dakota border. A law there bans couples from having sex inside any
grocery store's walk-in meat freezer. Brr!
3. No Sexual Favors to Settle Billiard Debts
If you're playing pool for money at a bar or
restaurant in Anniston, AL, an hour south of Birmingham, you better be
ready to pay up—in cash—if you lose. It's against the law for any woman
to offer sex to the victor instead of forking over moola.
4. No Consummating Your Marriage During Outdoor Sports
While most brides wouldn’t think to celebrate their
nuptials with shooting game or catching fish, if you do it in Oblong,
IL, near the Indiana border, you better keep your pants on. It's
punishable by law for any couple to have sex while hunting or fishing on
their wedding day. (On any other day of your life, though, it's
completely legal).
5. No Guns Going Off While You’re Getting Off
In Connorsville, WI, about an hour-and-a-half outside
of Minneapolis, it’s illegal for a man to shoot a gun at the same time
that his female partner is having an orgasm. Ladies first, gentlemen.
6. No Bestiality with Bigger Creatures Only
It's completely legal to have sex with any animal
that weighs less than 40 pounds in Washington State. Animals weighing 40
pounds and over, though, are off-limits, according to state law.
7. No Ambulance Nookie for Women
If you have the misfortune of being in an ambulance
in Tremonton, UT, an hour north of Salt Lake City, refrain from having
sex with a fellow rider. Intercourse while en route to the hospital can
result in a misdemeanor charge for a woman. Her male partner, on the
other hand, would face no criminal charges.
8. No Surprising Randy Couples in Cars
It seems Coeur d’Alene, ID’s government wants to spare people the
embarrassment of getting caught in the act: A law in this town near the
Washington border prohibits police officers from immediately approaching
any parked car if they suspect passengers are getting busy inside.
Instead, they must drive up behind the vehicle, honk three times and
wait approximately two minutes before getting out to investigate.
9., 10. and 11. No Well-Lit Sex, Non-Missionary Intercourse or Tickling
There must have been some shy lawmakers in power at
the time when this law was signed: Virginia prohibits any couple from
having sex with the lights on. This state also outlaws sex in any
position other than missionary, as well as tickling women.
12. No Equine Voyeurs
While Massachusetts acknowledges that rodeo clowns
deserve love, too, a state law forbids anyone from recklessly getting it
on with one of those performers while the horses are still
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