How to: Have Sex in a Car

                           

Step One:

Be smart with your parking. Don’t just pull over at a handy rest-stop to get down to business, because when that family wagon of inquisitive kids pulls in right next to you, you’ll only have yourself to blame. Take yourselves off the beaten track a little to somewhere quiet, covered and low on through-traffic.



Step Two:

Your first option is in the front of the car. The passenger seat is always going to be more effective than the driver’s side, without a pesky steering wheel, or help-alerting horn, getting in your way. Push the passenger seat as far back as is can go so that you have plenty of room to move, and tip it back a little. Now, depending on her strength, you can get her to straddle you, facing towards you with her hands around the headrest for support (harder work for her). Or she can jump into reverse cowgirl position, with her hands against the dash to support her.

Step Three:

If the front of the car isn’t working for you, you can take the more comfortable route and slip into the back seat.  Slide both front seats as far forward as you can go.  If you’ve decided to travel in only the clothes you’re soon not to be wearing, and consequently have an empty boot, put the back seats down too. If you are confident that you’re definitely in a secluded area, have her lie down on the seat while you’re legs hang out the open door, planted on the ground for leverage.

Step Four:

While sex in the car isn’t meant to be long and languid, don’t be afraid to pause the mood a little to lay down a towel. Almost everything sticks to car upholstery.

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