When we read stories like the one
you’re about to read, we get all mushy and we have to resist the urge to
type ‘Awww!’. But BN Reader and blogger, Lola Komolafe‘s
story is one that makes you think ‘maybe the one you think is for you
isn’t REALLY for you. She shares heartfelt experience of being dumped,
and the testimony of how things have turned around for good. We hope her
story can encourage anyone who is currently down in the trenches of
heartbreak
***
“At
this point in my life I’m looking for a partner and husband not a
boyfriend. I’m at that stage where I feel a certain way about love and
partnerships; I’m not in any way afraid of it. I’m looking forward to it
and get it done with.” 18/11/2013 I wrote this down in my diary at the said date after an encounter with God after work.
I
was seeing this man that I thought I had everything going on with – you
know the usual back and forth we go through during dating. Being an
indoor person, he spent most of his weekends at my place. We would go
out for breakfast, brunch and just chill. He was the perfect companion
at the said time, smart, witty and full of life.
He
once questioned what I thought about people checking the compatibility
of their partners in some prayerful way. I told him, I didn’t believe in
such crap and he said, he didn’t too. He said even though he’s a
Christian, he is also from a Muslim background and his aunties take
these things so seriously. I kept that in the palm of my hand for future
reference.
I was in church one Sunday evening for the communion service and the Reverend said:
“Sister Lola, you haven’t introduced your partner to me, when are you two getting married?”
“Rev. I don’t know to be honest but we are still taking our time.”
“You are old enough to ask him questions about where your relationship is headed and that doesn’t mean you are desperate.”
“Okay, Rev. I’ll talk to him about it and let you know. Thank you, sir.”
After
the communion service, the Reverend invited me to the pulpit and ask
that everyone should pray for me. I thought that was weird but I
continued saying- AMEN!
The next
morning, on Monday- it was a new month and I sent a long text to my
boyfriend, praying for him, for us and for our future together. I didn’t
get a response, and I called him out of curiosity. No response either. I
ignored and continued with my assignment at work. He called back hours
later sounding so lost and forlorn.
“Hey,
I don’t think I can continue with this relationship. My family member
went to check your name and they said you are not the right person for
me.”
“Huh? Check my name? For what?
Why? I thought you said you didn’t believe in such. You’re a medical
doctor in the 21st century and you still believe in such?”
“That’s
what they want and I’m sticking to their decision. I’ve known for
months now, I just didn’t know how to tell you but I can’t keep
deceiving you.”
Bombshell! 1st of
November! “Oh Sweet Lord, what have I done wrong? Why is this happening
to me? Why have you abandoned me, Lord? Why me? I prayed to you last
night, heck, the whole church even prayed for me! Where do I start from?
I’m going to be 31 in few months with nobody to call my own? What will I
tell my friends? What will I tell my family? God please please….” My
whole body was shaking the entire time. I ran into my colleague’s office
and called my cousin.
‘Marcy! *I busted out in tears. I was wailing, uncontrollably. I couldn’t say a word, I was just crying. Marcy, help me. please’
‘Lola,
can you tell me what the f**k happened?! Why are you crying?! Did
someone die?!’ She hung up, called my aunt to find out if someone had
died. Called me back and asked if it was my boyfriend. I said, yes.
“He dumped me. I didn’t do anything wrong, but he dumped me. He said he checked my name from his ‘Alfa’ and they said I wasn’t the one for him”. I couldn’t stop crying.
“He dumped me. I didn’t do anything wrong, but he dumped me. He said he checked my name from his ‘Alfa’ and they said I wasn’t the one for him”. I couldn’t stop crying.
“OKAY. Calm
down. I guess you should be lucky that someone like that dumped you
then. If you’re not married to him and he’s visiting some random person
to check your compatibility”.
My
boss’ wife sent me an email to do something for her and asked casually
if all was well. I started crying, typed my predicament in tears. No,
Mrs. J….I narrated again.
She sent me
to church saying- “Just go to church and pray the Lord should forgive
him.” I didn’t question why I should pray for someone who just told me
to get out of his life. I closed from work early and went straight to
church, in my tears, I prayed that the Lord should forgive him and turn
my tears to joy.
“Lord, I’m tired of
trying to figure my life. I’m tired of thinking I’m the best thing that
can happen to any man. I’m tired of loving and getting hurt in return.
I’m tired of so many things Lord, please wash me clean and use me for
your glory. Lord, I don’t know how you are going to do it but please,
turn my sadness into joy and make me happy again. I’m really sad but I
look to your throne of mercy, have mercy on your daughter.” I prayed and
cried. I cried and prayed.
After the
service, I felt relieved of all the happenings around me and continued
with my daily routine. God answers prayers and I am a living testimony
of His goodness.
My testimony wasn’t
delayed or postponed, because I met my husband through a friend 2 weeks
after I got dumped and we got engaged 5 months later. The month I got
engaged, I heard that my ex got married a month after he dumped me and
few months later he passed away. He died.
I
could have been a widow. I could have been so many thing but God…The
Lord brought me out of that relationship and gave me a man who wouldn’t
live a day without me.
We got married
27th of December, 2014 in a lovely outdoor ceremony at home in the
presence of our loved ones and family members. God never forgets His
own.
This is dummy text. It is not meant to be read. Accordingly, it is difficult to figure out when to end it. But then, this is dummy text. It is not meant to be read. Period.
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